I have known hundreds of people in my life. Some for long and some for a short time. I heard many stories of their life, some i remember and some i don’t. But among the few that i remember vividly, many are of how strict family/parents are to them. Some were my friends, relatives and people whose story i know but can’t claim to have any relation. As i heard the stories of how miserable they are, i came to realize that i was a very lucky guy. Everyone is not as luckier. Not in this anyway. I saw people go down into the deepest pit and never come back. Every now and then i hear stories like that and feel lucky. That is sick. Feeling good at someone else’s misery but that’s how life is and I’m not ashamed of saying it. But right now it’s not about me. It’s about the millions of people who live in a hell hole so tangled that they cannot make way through and have chosen to accept what is.
Most of the cases of hard parenting are in the houses of young girls and boys. Specially girls. Almost every parent has an urge to make his/her child just like him/her, which is a good, successful and respected person. But in the course of shaping the mind of the child, they become so blind that they forget about the feelings of their own siblings.
At this moment i want to recite a story of a girl. The girl is a student in a college. She loves being at college because she gets to have all the fun she can while there. he is friendly and very lovable. She comes to the college, goes to the canteen straight and stays there the whole time. The astonishing part is not 'her staying in the canteen always'. She talks a lot in her cell phone. Almost all the time she is there hanging to the phone, playing with her hair while doing so and speaking in a very low voice. One friend asks her why she speaks so softly and she jokes that she doesn't want him hearing her conversation. But when a really close friend asks her, she says that it was a habit that developed because she has to speak very softly at home with the fear that her parents will hear her and if they find out about her affair, they will force her to marry someone immediately. Confronting her and scolding her is tolerable but getting her married? That’s sick. Yes, I call it a sickness. Bad parenting is a sickness and we need to get rid of it.
I remember my mom telling me about the dangers of having bad friends as clear as the sky. I’m sure all the parents do that. But let me tell them one thing, about half the cases of substance abuse and addiction are caused by parents.
A friend of mine was making a long face one day at a cafe and some of us tried to cheer him up but he wouldn't He had already finished his 4th stick. So I asked what the matter was and he said nothing. I asked again and he denied having a problem again. Then I mocked him by saying that he must be sad because his girlfriend dumped him. He showed me the middle finger and said to go fuck myself. Later I discovered that his parents had turned down his request of going on a trip from school along with the teachers. They believed that teachers can’t keep an eye on him all the time and he would do stupid things.
Now where the hell is his life in this? People are bound to do stupid things in life. They ought to do mistakes and learn. There’s a saying that ‘a person who has not mistaken once has not learnt anything at all.’ Thanks to that guy’s parents, he is lying somewhere fucked up, high and crushing himself. I don’t blame the parents entirely for this wreck. I can’t blame them for trying to make their child a better man. But they needed to be aware of the consequences of holding their children too tightly. Sometimes they need to let go.
A friend of mine Suman(name changed)told me one morning a thing very simple, funny yet dangerous. He told me that he was irritated by a girl of his class miscalling him all the time. The girl was nothing but sweet and friendly and unknown about this and he wanted me to tell her. He was scared of telling her and I had to do the job. She said okay and stopped miscalling him. The thing that is dangerous about the incident was the real reason why he wanted the miscals to stop coming. Suman’s father was very strict and he always checked his cell phone and interrogated him about everything. As my friend was always with his father in his shop, he always knew about the miscals. He was very skeptical about this and tortured him with questions that dropped in like bombshells in his private life and destroyed everything. The miscals are not the worst part yet. He couldn't wear a t-shirt, ever. He was not allowed to wear jeans, ever and he was not allowed to make the hairstyle other than the one his father approved!
What the hell right? That is a hell that any young person doesn't want. Those were just the physical restrictions. The psychological tortures are indescribable, unimaginable and intolerable. Now keep yourself in such a situation and imagine how you would feel? Imagine the dangers of him getting too frustrated and doing something that would hurt him. Or maybe hurt others. Taking lives is a crime but take away his freedom from a teenager and you will leave him with a hole in his heart so deep that it can’t be filled ever. I wonder how he has been keeping up like that for all this years and for god knows how many more years.
I will never have to find myself wasted in some gutter or wrapped up in my blanket and crying my eyes out but I’m sure that a lot of people are doing that right now because they don’t have anything else to do to ease their suffering. I hope that these people will get redemption and freedom so that they can be the person they deserve.
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