A few
nights ago a smart-ass friend of mine almost made a fool out of me when he
told me that he was so fed up with life that he was going to kill himself.
Well, I lost a friend a year ago when he committed suicide. So immediately, I
believed him and started the long process of convincing him to not to die. I’m
sure he was laughing his ass off at me with this mean joke. I tried explaining
him how things he has done mean something and he is important. Honestly, I found
very few (no offence dude). Then I thought maybe I’m not pondering enough on
this subject. So, I began thinking about things that we do that are meaningful
and worthy of praise. Since we are the people of this money-centric society, we
don’t engage in significant social works, do we? Anyway, let’s focus on the
subject here. What if you feel suicidal? You can just think about it from the
little things I’ve listed that can make you feel valuable.
1. The Chain
The most
interesting and embarrassing one on the list is ‘The Chain’. You know sometimes
you get out of the house in a jolly good mood and head off to college or a
gathering or just a walk in the park and you see people notice you, heads
turning and people smiling and you don’t have a god damn clue about what’s
going on and suddenly you notice (or are notified) that your zipper is open
with your underpants on public display. It’s a whole new level of disgrace and
to top it off, you don’t get to zip it right there because there are too many
people and greater risk of people seeing you. You can feel your face coloring
and you’re utterly hopeless. Trust me it’s more embarrassing than falling flat
on your ass because you don’t know how many people have seen you with your ‘door
open’. I’ve been there. Quite a few times actually. I’m sure you have been
there too. So guys you can help such a bloke someday by pointing it out (not
literally of course) Call them to a corner and tell them without laughing or it
looks like you’re making fun of the person. Even if it is a little bit
embarrassing for you, you’ll have saved the person from a lot more of it.
2. The Cat
People
(even of my generation) believe that its bad luck or bad omen if a cat crosses
the road and you be the first person to cross its path. I don’t believe this
ridiculous thing so whenever people in front of me stop; I just walk straight
crossing the cat’s path with a smug look, watching other’s face notice my
bravery. Of course I feel sick when these people stop and wait for another
person to carry their bad luck (Assuming it really exists). Letting others take
your fall knowingly is a disgusting thing to do. I just cross the cat’s path so
that those conservative son-of-a-bitches can get along with their pathetic
little life. Of course they won’t thank you later but you can feel good about
it because you have let someone have a good day with the belief that the bad
luck is not hovering over their head. Now do this sometime and the next time
you’re about to kill yourself, I will have saved you with this. See, I got
another thing to feel good about!
3. The Headlight
This
moment lasts just a second or two but it helps people in some way. You would be surprised to know how many people drive with their bike’s head light glowing
like a Christmas tree on broad daylight! I don’t know if they are plain stupid
or they are in search of an honest man like Diogenes of
Sinope (He used to walk around with a lamp in search of an honest man during the
day. No! I’m not telling you the details. Should have paid attention in history
class). So, in the split second when you’re on the road and notice such an
idiot, you can shout ‘Headlight!’ and he will get the clue and shut it. You can
be proud of this little thing because you have just saved some electricity
(Being a Nepali we understand its importance better, don’t we?) He might have
run out of batteries on a cold scary night and drove straight into the river
(like my one friend) because he couldn’t see the road ahead. You saved him from
a major embarrassment. Of course no one will drown in the rivers of the city.
They are too filthy for drowning. Maybe the person might die of the smell
instead :D) Anyway, he won’t thank you for that but still you have done a good
thing. Who knows, he may return the favor someday in the same way or other.
4. The Seat
The moral compass of whoever put the seat quota for
women and disabled in buses and microbuses must have been severely broken at
the time when they put this rule because I don’t see a lot of people standing
up and willingly giving their seat. I see the people looking out the window
instead. The lawmakers should have thought of the moral status of people before
making this stupid rule that no one cares to follow. Anyway, if you’re in the
odd lot who gives up the seat with their heart, be glad because you’re among a
few humans with the rare quality called humanity left in you. Congratulations!
And there’s a bonus too for this one. You get thanked. (Finally!)
5. The Like
This
is a simple one. If you like something about somebody or something about
somebody’s something, just say it or ‘like’ it on social networks. You don’t
even have to say it nowadays. Making others feel good and feeling good about it
yourself is just a click away. You know, writers, artists and other creative
people crave for praise. The most important thing for us lot is that someone
notices our work and praises it. (Meaning: Praise me a lot and you are my
favorite person in the whole world.) But this ‘like’ thing applies to 99.99% of
the population. One like or comment on their photos or status means a lot to a
lot of people. Hell, some people even text me requesting to like his/her
photos. One of my friend’s friend miscalls him when she has uploaded a new
photo and doesn’t stop until he has liked it on Facebook. And afterwards she
completely forgets his existence until another upload. How pathetic is that? I
have seen people look in the mirror more than usual when he or she is praised
about his/her body part or compatibility with a certain dress. So keep praising
and make others happy and be glad about it. Who knows? The person may praise
you in return and make you happy.
6. The Same thing
You
see, when you go out on blind dates, you come back and think about the things
that you both have in common, and you both like. ‘The Same Thing’ is about this
type of mutual likeness. People like being around with people with similar
values and beliefs. Its human nature. People like being supported. They like it
when someone supports what they say and keeps a similar opinion about the
subject. They like being part of something. They like being accepted so if you
want to do another good deed, just tell them that you feel the same way about whatever
the other person is talking about. If you contradict their opinion, you are
bound to be disliked by the person or group (especially if you’re trying to
make a first impression). Of course it doesn’t work all the time and do not say
that to a person if he/she is doing self-mockery or worse. Like:
The
guy- “I’m such an idiot man.”
You-
“I feel the same way about you man.”
The
guy- “I think I’m gonna leave my family and disappear.”
You-
“Ya dude. I will support you anyway.”
The
guy - “Dude. My father is such a dick. I think I’m gonna kill him.”
You
- “Great idea! How can I help?”
So,
stop correcting everything and start supporting and feel good about what you
have done to make someone joyful. (God! I’m turning from funny to preachy. What
the fuck is wrong with me?)
7. The Googler
Now
this is an interesting one. People like being admired. Not praised like in no.
5 but admired. I’ll give you an example: When a guy or a girl walks by who
clearly is trying to show off his new watch which enhances his personality or
her new dress and how amazingly it fits her but acts like he/she doesn’t care
about other’s opinion. Just look at them and notice what they are trying to
show (or stare. It doesn’t matter till you give your attention to them) they
feel good about it. They finally have something in their worthless
uninteresting life to be proud of. This is true for everyone so don’t try
denying it. Mostly bikers, people at wedding procession, the guy with the new
car or dress, the dancer etc fall in the category. Don’t tell me- “I don’t do
that. People just notice me when I am around.” Or “I don’t like/want to be noticed”
(Unless you’re a Russian spy on a mission to kill all the stupid politicians of
Nepal. If you are then you don’t worry. We support you heavily on that.) So go
out and stare (I mean notice) at some good looking things and feel good about
it. And don’t stare at ‘the chain’. It’s embarrassing!
8. The listener
I’ve got this notebook where I keep
the quotes that I like and read it when I feel confused or bewildered. In it,
there’s a quote – “The most skillful
flattery is to let a person talk on and be a listener.” Yes, I believe it.
Every word. If someone is expressing some opinion on something, just listen to
them with a smile and the person feels like he is Alexander the Great all powerful and influential. If someone gives
some attention to what you’ve got to say, you love it. So in every group there
are listeners and speakers. There is one or two person who talks and talks all
the time and others listen and comment on the subject occasionally. If you want
to praise a non-stop speaker, you don’t even have to open your mouth. Just
listen to him/her or pretend to be listening and they want you as their friend
for the rest of their lives. If the person is too damn irritating, don’t follow
this advice though or you’ll want to kill yourself and me after a while.
So guys, I think that doing these insignificant things and being
proud of it seems pitiful but in the grand scheme of things in this vast
universe, doing little things like these ultimately determine how human we are.
It’s what makes us different from animals and machines.
So………… that’s it then. This long episode of giving advice is
finally over. Phew… what a relief. One I wrote an article of 1000 words and my
friend said in the comment that he felt like he was reading Mahabharata. Hope
it has not been a boring Mahabharata at all. See you soon on other articles.
Thanks for sticking to this till the end.
-
Pusain Sid
2013-05-20
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