Why do people drive bikes like crazy?

My dear Friend..............,

       Hello, how are you? You must be sitting in front of the computer with your hand on your chin utterly bored or you might be on a laptop or a cellphone trying to find something to distract yourself from the real world. I’m writing about something about bikers. So buckle up.         
        Everyone has seen young boys trying to replicate cool moves from films like Mission Impossible and Dhoom by driving with threatening speed as if the devil himself was behind them. Well i have to admit that it is a guilty pleasure that i too share. I too have a bombastic adrenalin rush when I get behind the two wheels. I feel like I’m Tom Cruise or something and think that people are gasping with awe like they do in ads when they see a hunk with the shirts off. But of course I look like a dork and people are cursing me from the bottom of their heart. I don’t own a two wheeler (not with a motor anyway) so this kind of a thing rarely happens to me. So without a sense of guilt, I will say whatever I want to the schmuck riders. Wow. A pen does have a lot of power doesn't it? It can make a rat into a cat and vice versa (in exams mostly).


        Okay then, back to the subject my friend or I might bore you to death assuming that you aren't already. So I was talking about the ‘bikers’ or ‘riders’ or ‘riderz’ or ‘riderzz’ and so on. They have a number of reasons to ride fast. They are:


1.     The Macho man


      Every guy who can ride faster, louder and more dangerously feels like he is ‘THE MAN’. We boys feel like girls look at us with pride and respect when we drive past them making ear shattering noise and speed. If even 20% of the girls find this attractive, then either I have a very bad understanding of the female mind or all these girls are schmucks (I think using this word makes me look wiser).

2.     The competition
     Usually after college when everyone is bored of college and want to get home as fast as they can, boys like to attract as many eyes as they can. So they make an aggressive display of their riding skills which is just the making noise and riding fast which btw my little brother can do. The other guys’ ego is hurt and they start their own show. This feeling of competition is worse in the road. Overtake us and you get the hatred that Hitler had to the Jewish people. We cannot tolerate that. We then race with them until we part ways and make an asshole of ourselves.

3.     The boob-y trap
      I like to call this the boob-y trap because this is related to the boobs from the female anatomy. We increase the speed, hit the brake as hard as our poor bike can take and let the inertia do the work so that we can feel the soft warm feel of those boobs. (What? I’m going vulgar? Oh come on, don’t be such a pussy. So what, are you gonna tell me that you don’t watch porn and masturbate? If you don’t then you have a serious problem dude. Go see some doctor ASAP.) Oh yeah. This ‘boob-y trap’ also works if you want to sit on the girl’s lap and give her the feel of your flat bottom at a speed breaker. This has happened to me but unfortunately only with guys. Trust me, it’s very awkward!

4.     We are late!
     For Christ’s sake girls stop categorizing us all as assholes. Sometimes we are really in a hurry. It’s not like we always try to look like machos (idiots).       Guys, we are not the knight on a shining armor who is going to save the damsel in distress all the time. We are normal people so let’s act like one. We want a long, happy and prosperous life. I have seen enough ‘machos’ with their head, foot and hands missing in accidents. It’s not a pleasant sight to see young people with body parts missing and guts spilling all over the road. Think how it might feel to have your guts flowing on the road. Of course you idiots won’t listen because you’ve never listened to anyone and who the fuck is this guy who is so preachy? Hope I won’t see you in the street dead the next time. I hope you will write to me too.             
                                                                       Always hopeful                                                                            Your friend

Ps: Please do comment. It means a lot.....