How laughter means the complete opposite sometimes!

I worked at this ad agency for almost a year and I left recently due to personal reasons. The first four months, I was given both marketing and designing job with the pay for only one. I had to go to the field (offices – mostly government offices and few private ones) and collect the material i.e. the text and come to the office and design and take it to the publishing houses myself. It was a great learning experience.

So, I worked hard, did all the jobs and in the course, met some unique people. Among all the just about average experiences I had in SP Media, this is one that I won’t forget ever in my life.

I had gone to this ministry office (let’s skip the name here) to collect the material for the ad that I had to design. So I entered the building located at a very peaceful area, with marble floors and very modern finishing. It was like entering a grand hotel. I used to imagine government offices to be these dingy rooms with moldy furniture and old, saggy senior citizens squinting at dusty files. Now I know for a fact that government buildings of Kathmandu are more equipped, sophisticated and modern than most hotels, schools or hospitals in the country. The rooms are air conditioned, fairly big; the buildings have fingerprint and ID card identification system, CCTV all over and the restrooms... Oh, the restrooms! 

The restrooms in these places are the most exquisite.  They are shiny - white ceramics and tiles, squeaky clean; some even have blow dryers for your hands. A few years ago, I was at a public school for an examination.  The toilets there were overflowing with excrement. Needless to say, we avoided going to the toilet for 3 hours because we couldn’t dare do our business in such filth. Well, school sanitation can go to hell right? Instead let’s get modern state of the art restroom! Let’s skim money from that project. Let’s make a second class building so that we can skim money again for repairs! It’s so disgusting that I find the restroom more pleasant than being in their presence. They just reek of filth! Government offices bathrooms are so clean that it contrasts with the dirty work that happens outside the bathroom. 

So, I reached there, met with the designated person (whom we will be calling ‘the person’ from here on) and spoke as politely as I could (as I was taught beforehand). The room was full of blue coats and Dhaka Topis.  The Person opened his arms, ushered me in with great enthusiasm and introduced me to all the people there. He asked me a number of questions, laughing heartily and ordered a cup of tea for me. I wanted to like this person and to believe that his affection for me was real. And I would have, if I wasn’t aware of his true intentions. I felt disgusted and appalled at his demeanor but put on a straight face. That’s what I was taught. 

The Person put a calculator in front of me and resumed his conversation with the other people. I took his cue and did what he wanted me to do. I calculated how much commission (sugar-coated name for “bribe”) he would get from the transaction. I wanted to laugh at the situation there. Or rather, mourn for the country for the hands it is in. This person didn’t even have the decency to do this in private. Everyone there knew what he was doing but no one cared. I did the calculation and showed him the sum - 5 times my salary.

 He was getting paid 5 times my earnings because he had power. He wasn’t working till 8 in the evening or running all day or trying to make it through crowded buses every morning and evening. He was getting the money just because he could. As I showed him the numbers in the calculator, he looked at me with such satisfaction and pride that I wanted to break that smug look in his face and pluck his evil-looking eyes out of the socket. But I was just an expendable employee at a private firm, right? What could I do?

All this took a mere 5 minutes. By the end of it, he was 5-times- my-salary richer after handing me the hard copy of the publish order letter and the text of the notice ad. I checked the letter for any mistakes and that’s when my eyes fell upon a line at the bottom of the paper. The motto of the office was written in green letters below a line. It read: “Integrity and Transparency for the development of ………………..”

At that moment, the irony of it all hit me. I couldn’t stop myself and a guffaw escaped my lips. Everyone looked at me and the laugh just faded. The person asked me what the matter was and I couldn’t answer him for a few moments. I stood frozen as the silent gaze of the people in the room fell upon me. He asked me again; sterner and louder this time, and that did it for me. I thought- “This crook dares raise his voice at me? This job can go to hell. It isn’t that great anyway” and showed him the word ‘Transparency’ on the letter.

He stared at me for 10 full seconds, never blinking, without moving a muscle. I thought he would slap me for daring to point a finger at him. Then, as I was getting ready to receive any punishment for it, he smiled. A sly grin crept up his pointed face, reaching his eyes. And at that moment, he truly looked like the devil’s advocate. He slowly sat down, joined his two forefingers and told me these words that I won’t forget for the rest of my life. 

“Words are deceiving, kid! Most of the time, they mean the complete opposite.”

I nodded and left. We, at the office had quite a laugh about it but it is sad, really. We were laughing at the country that has millions of young enthusiastic souls escaping the country. We were laughing at all the young activists who were too helpless, outnumbered and overpowered by corruption. We were laughing because we didn’t know what to do. So we laughed; a sad, helpless, nervous laugh. At that moment, I learnt - Even laughter means the complete opposite sometimes.